the day out to gym wif Qiqin....[30/11/09]

the day out wif bro!![08/11/09]

STRIKE OUT!!!!

strike him out bebeh!!!
who??
A guy name Syafiq Salim Lor....
He's outta my list...
buahahahahaha!!!!!!!

So,nw...left with Muhd Shamssuzaman...hmm...
conclusion..????
i dunno...he's a gd guy..met him once oni...tu pon tk smpi 1 hr..
wakakaka!!...
fell for him?...i guess so..i dunno..haiz..
hmm...we r still talking tho..even after i said i liked him..
[tu cume testing jek eh..hw setia a fren cn be]hehe...
:)
so,...ntah lar..

den..lately kn,my dreams sume nye weird2 seh..
[not kotor ones lah]
lately kn..i dream of the future..wat is goin to happen..scary seh...
hmm..i duno ehk..

oh ya..lastly tat i wanna post abt..
the number 18!!!
this no. has been freaking me out since the start of my bday...
this no sort of brings bad luck..
the no. 18 stands for..ME BEING ILL..I WILL HAVE AN ILLNESS SOON..
i dunno wat the illness will be but most prob a CYST wld develop in me..
its sort of a "keturunan" thingy...my sis gt it wen she was 18..my cuzzie gt it wen she was 18..me??..i dunno..i want 19 faster..tkt seh.....i dun want operations!!!!!

Peace.Love.Serenity

rain that makes me smile..

today..did ntg much..i'm juz loving MDP mre as days pass...

but..i didnt came for our project presentation in the morn...i cant..gt my own reasons..

things are getting worse for me nw...
ppl in the sch has realised that im getting much mre quieter..i dun talk much recently..dun hav the mood to talk..cz their topic is jz the same..over and over..all abt boys..bf's..i hate it wenever they talk bout tis...cz i hv totally ntg to talk abt..n i dun like to interupt them talking..so,i jz kept quiet lor..den they tot i gt probs..haiz..hw cn i ever explain it to them..

my mental wellness is getting worse...im nt studying..i kept thinking..thinking of wat oso i dunno..but most of it was abt my past..esp..shafeeq..i do really miss him..sumtimes i jz wished that i cld bump into him n talk to him..but wat shall i talk wif him abt?..den..dere goes syafiq..n sham..but i cn put them aside...no probs..
i think..yestd n today i hv a major mental breakdwn..yestd..i forgot to zip my skirt..i only realise wen mai tegur..den i was thinking.."MAK OOIIII!!!TADI KN AKU DARI JRG..APE?..TAT MEANS AKU NAIK TRAIN..NAIK BUS TK ZIP SKIRT??MAK!!!MALU NYE AKU!!!PATOTLAH BERANGIN JE PANTAT AKU..HAHAHHAA!!"
tat was yestd..today..worse..i tot i wld come for the 2nd lesson..so,i came at 915..skali..i came to class..no one was there..i was wondering lar...den i look at timetable..and i said to myself"btol perb class..tpi asal tkde org eh?.."so i go wondering the whole of that 5th lvl and 6th lvl searching for my class..tpi tkde so,i waited till the nxt lesson lah which is 2 hrs later..haiz..so,i went to eat at cafe 2..den lpk pat lvl 2 nye study corner..skali..abt 1hr 15min ltr..the geng came..den i asked..whr is the last lesson held...they say "the same class lor"den i said lah"mane ade..tadi aku dtg 915 tkde org pon..class kosong seh.."den jae said"mestilah..class start kul 10 tau.."den i was like "ehk?..iyeke?"i looked at the timetable and there it was..stating the class start at 10..BOO-YAH! i said pelan2 ar"darn..bodoh nye gal..ape kes ngan aku niari ni??"..

thats all..hope u had a great day not like mine..hehe..
goin off to Capoeira nw!
Chaos!

Adios.Amegos.Peace

Hello AGAIN!!..haha

hie there..
[warning!!long blog coming up!!]

lets start..its been very long since i last blog..so..dah forget skit..hehe...

hmm my life nw quite sux in sch..the only days i'm coming back hm early is Mon & Fri's..haiz..den the modules nw..HAIYO!!non-stop projects which leads conflict among me n my cliques..[ape lah nasib..]den..only one thing gd..nw i hv a CCA..at last..and im gonna stick with it till i graduate..wanna know what is my CCA?..CAPOEIRA[a brazilian martial arts..] Weee!!!

nw..to my personal life..hmm..its difficult..Fatin mcm break her promise..wen she is in Vietnam..promise to jage Zaki wen come back sg lar..nk kemas & jage umah lah..tis lah..tat lah..but end up..NOTHING..(only tat she's werking nw,bt that doesnt make any diff!!) asik2 me..yg kene ulang alik teban & tamp..owaes me!!irritating sia..den wen i didnt kemas umah..she pandai plk nk marah org..bile dier tk kemas org tegur skit je melenting..haiz..[why do i hv sisters..why not brothers which are way better and understanding???]Cobaan beb..but Zaki nye perangai is nw improving..he seems to understand my sotuation and is helping me out alot..LOVE U AR BRO!![3 cheers for him!!Hip-Hop Hurray!!X3]

LOVE life?....hmm..i dunno eh..nw the only one that i like is Syafiq Salim...he has all the qualities that i needed...oh ya,abt the date in Night Safari wif him?..haha...damn great fun!..he gt hellish scared..haha...he gt shocked and shouted so0O loud..and me?..biase ar..ketawe kn dier aje lah..hahaha..he's sweet..oh ya..he nt only knows AtiQ..but also Muhsin[kwn rapat rashid -.-' & he knows Arfian..]wat a total small world..hw much smaller the world cn be?.. kk..back track....me n Fiq hv been cntacting for mre than a mnth nw..on last Sat he treat me to a movie..crite paranormal activity[not that scary ar..only last part]..i feel bad every time he treats me...yalah..im nt his galfriend mah...i shld hav paid for myself lor...nt only he treats me for a movie..he oso treats me for pastamania...Waduh...lagi serba salah...dah lar mahal...haiyo..nw i really owe him big..hmm..oh ya..i rmbred..tat time on his bdae..me n Lil Missy Ris Nurul gt him a shirt frm Recoil..a black shirt..and u noe wad??we sngaje pick for him which was at the display patung..haha...it looks nice on the dolly lor..so we pick..hehe..[soO LAME of us..haha]den..after he wore it..he said to me tat our present hit the rite spot..as in..he really wanted a black shirt..and wanted a recoil shirt..haha..BULLS-EYE BABE!!haha.. kk..back to hw i felt for him..[wah..jauh seh pergi my flash back..haha.. XD ] he is a sweet guy..i duno if he romantic or not lar..but for sure he do hav a darn gd voice which makes me melt for him much faster..nt only tat..he gt bods..he gt hearts..he is patient..he is funny...well..simple to say eh..he's a complete set of wat i needed in a guy..[nt forgetting he wears specs sumtimes!!hehe..I LIKE!!]..(ya ampun!!merepek aje aku ni..haha)

klah..enuf is enuf eh gal..dun write too much..org malas nk bace..haha..aite2..see u guys soon.. oh ya!! I MISS MY BRO ANGZ..[esp BangKai,Sas,Shaz and Abg Adk Yat!]
bye u guys...cya soon yaw!![insyallah tkkn tulis lagi..haha..kidding2]
chao!


btw,thx Fiq..and yes..i'll wait..[muktamad!]

adios.amegos.peace.

I'M BACK AGAIN!!!

OK..BEWARE..CZ THIS BLOG GONNA BE DAMN LONG...

well lets start with hw im coping..hmm..i'm doing quite well tho..
GD NEWS!! my gpa..i gt 3.8!!! 3 straight A's and 1 B..isnt that gd?..[jz as wat i was expecting]
den..NO MORE BABY RASH!
umm..no sch= boring 4 wks of staying at hm..w/o jln raye..*blergh!*
not werking..lazy lar..
back to the no life "hse gal"..doing all chores a mother would do... -.-

this is the great part!!:

hmm..i dunno hw many dates i hv went in these holiday season..its like a routine for me,whenever theres a holiday..must go dating![sialkn??]

1st up was Fahmie..[not hensem bt gt hearts]thx to Sastra for giving my no. to him w/o my permission..haha..we talked and msged each other everyday..he's a damn workaholic! he works 48 hrs..and sumtimes up till 3 days if he gt OT..[mcm wth kn?]den one fine day we meet up tpi tk smpi 30 min dah chow cz he gt to go to his aunt's hse..antar obat..he's quite big in size..almost look like sas..hmm..den my ppd gone finish and he tot i dun wanna cntct him afta meeting him..n he go merajok..n OUTTA MY LIST..


2nd was HOTTIE AIZAD...[hensem! hot! and gt hearts too! only a lil bit rude wen bad mood]
OMG!!!i really mean it..OMG!!he's damn effing hot lor!!1st we met at tamp..den dunno whr to go so go to lpk infront of Nyai's hse...we were very n extremely shy..haha!!den after 2 days..we went to sentosa n swim2 there..tats wen he took of his shirt!!![OMG!!OMG!!OMG!!!HOTTIE OTW!!]haha..we swam..rub each others back wif sand den massage him cz he was aching frm all those workouts in gym..*hehe*i like us in the water..bt hv to get out cz getting darker..hmm..den,he treat me to dinner at the foodcourt infront of harbourfront..den went hm...i guess,rash was jelous at tat time..muahaha!!
bt nw,we didnt cntct each other bcz of sumting..cant tell..personal..
so,conclusion?...OUTTA MY LIST

den..nxt was Taufik..he's jz pervert![no good!!] rejected N OUTTA MY LIST..haha!

nxt up! luqman n harith[jerks!!]..haiyoo....these guys was my mission actually..i was tasked by Lil Missy Ris Nurul to korek sumting frm them..and i did..and WTH wen actually luqman really fell for me..but not for me..i dun like him..[tkde feelings pon]and gotta noe he's in the same sch as me..WTF!hw am i gonna face him ltr in sch?..FUCK!..but nvm.i'll ignore him..harith is the mission guy..he's such a jerk..playboy n a big liar..hope he will learn his lesson soon..
So,BOTH OF THEM IS OUTTA MY LIST.[not cntcting anymore..haha!]

ok..nxt..Hakim..[sweet but very busy]a guy i gotta noe thru tagged..alar..he jarang online but we r still cntacting..thru msn plk..still pending..

LAST...a guy named Syafiq...[hehe..cannot comment yet..haha]gotta noe him frm Lil Missy Ris Nurul..syafiq was a bestfriend of ris's "boyfiee"..named Hazwan..kk..intro..Syafiq jz gt into army and he's in combat medic..nt gonna say which camp!! and....he noes attica!!my classmate a.k.a "the makcik in class"..wth..and indeed,she is his most bestfriend!!!wtf!..not again..i dun wanna go another relationship wif sum1 who noes my classmate....haiz...but gt gd news!!!

ON 09 OCT 2009..I'M GOING TO DATE SYAFIQ FOR THE 1ST TIME AT NIGHT SAFARI!!wohoo!
i deserve a 3 cheers..[hip-hop hurray!!x3]haha.. xp
cant wait 4 2mrw..hehe..still pending..


last word..tues and thurs are my tv days..Soo,dun disturb..

[anyone wanna sponsor me tickets to impak maksima the musical??i really badly wanna watch!]

adios.amegos.peace

wee...

hmm..today my 1st day of puase tau..hehe..

the last few days tk dpt puase sooo....enjoyzing..weee..

hmm..now hungry lei..haha..tpi still cn tahan..

just nowkn..i kemas2 umah..den dgn semangat dtg skool jln kaki bwh mrt track..haha..dah semangat giler..hua3..

kk..now in osa..boring..niari cepat abes..n realise myself improving in my studies which is a very good and extremely good sign...wohoo!![baik arh eton!!]

kk..fatin is coming back soon..tat is tis fri..hmm..looking forward to it. ;)

[cz i cn get back my prepaid and my new bag!!wee..gerekkn??..haha]

btw tadi sempat bilang jae abt rashid..what he said and even jae is angry with him..i dont understand why but i noe she is really angry with him..*kening naik*..

wat to do kn..as we all say"u got to do,wat u got to do..'haha

[tkde link sey..haha XP]

so now..i'm off..

adios.amegos.peace

Back in singlees..hahaha...

well had a slow emo talk wif rashid the day before puase..

den dere he goes..

saying the word"break up.."and plus3..he mentioned"please don't wait for me..i will not go back to u coz our relationship now is just like my past.."

well..i cried and cried for 2 days..(nasib tk Puase kalo tk batal woo!!..haha)

felt bad..sad..but at the same time happy cz i'm back in action as a singlee..wee.. :)

btw..slamat berpuase!!

adios.amegos.peace

i'm back!!

muahaha..funny kn me??..skejap2 nk masuk,skejap tk nk..wakakaka..hehe..

i'm sooo the unpredictable..weee..

well..i'm just in a desperate mood to jot down my feelings..my journal is not arnd wif me..so no choice lor..kene type pat blog lei..leceh tau..haha..

kk..back to my story..

well i'm currently sad ar..well..rashid baby wanna break up wif me..i sad u noe..but wat to do kn..

haiyo...its abt me lar..my fault lar..i'm being too paranoid wif myself that org lain pon jadi my punch bag..but,i just wanna let out my feelings pe..[only that its at the wrong timing]*blergh*

u noe wat??at this point of time,i think its the best that i have a break coz i need to sort myself out first..i just need time for myself..lagipon rashid baby id busy wif his werk,frens,dota,games,soccer..well..i guess its the best we have a break..yeah..rite..its the best solution..

*wateva lar eton...lantak ko lar dear..asal kn ko tk menyesal sua..*

adios.amegos.peace

a sad news to all of you...

so sad to say that this is my last posting in the blog..

its not that i cant blog[well sememangnye tk pandai blog pon..haha]its just that i dont like ppl to read it..i feel like theres no privacy..

i noe i can private it but for me its too troublesome and still if i private it there will still be someone who will "psycho" me to un-private it..[irritating ppl..hehe]

so now i have found a replacement to it..

it is my beloved journal!!wakaka..[old school babe!!jgn main2 tau..haha]

its better coz i noe who will be reading my writings and what are they reading only wif MY PERMISSION!!

btw ppl..theres another sad news that i want to share wif u all..

now kn..the line that i'm using now dah kene potong or in english kene cut-off..understanding-understood?..haha

and now i'm unreachable..not even thru msn cz my lappy will be in jrg and i'm gonna be in tamp..

i noe u guys cnferm2 suro aku beli ppd card baru kn?..tu no problemo..tpi krg kasi aku duit ar..hahaha!!

too bad aku ngah koyak ar..pape kalo aku ade duit aku beli ar den aku bilang krg my new no. k?..

ayah plk mcm biase uat hal..ckp tkde duit..[mcm $*@L..] cannot say it ar..nnt baby rash marah..hahaha..

k lah tats all my beloved frerns who is reading this blog..cant talk more cz using sch comp ar..hehe..for the last time..i'm saying BYE2!!love you all soo much!!

ADIOS.AMEGOS.PEACE

A Moment To Remember..180709..

ahaha..soo long tk blog..hahaha!! today i skip OFC lesson for the 1st time..haha..it's becoz i forgot to take my sch shoes at tamp..and malas ar nk bangun siang2...haha...[nw at teban lor..]

kk..mesti u all wondering wats with the date kn?kn?kn?..haha..
surprise!!
its my 1st month with Baby Rashid lar...tat time lupe nk blog about it..hehe..STM lar katekn..hehe..
kk..tat day starts with me being totally frustrated with him lor...he told me to meet him at 12..and he said he wanted to fetch me from home..in the end,i was waiting for him almost 1 1/2 hrs sey...rabak kn?..haha..1 hr i waited at hm..1/2 hr waited for him at mac..in the end i was the one fetching him from tamp mrt station..perb ar ni mamat..hahaha!!!

then i punish him by asking him to finish up my coke..haha..den we ate old chang kee den proceed to bugis to book tickets at Iluma den went mkn at mac..planned to mkn at pastamania..tpi i kesian kn him,so tk jadi lor..hahaha..Iluma is the worst place to catch a movie..their service sux man! den after watching Harry Potter,[and was upset by the ending]..i proceeded with MY plans..went to esplanade..see firewerks..[kn romantic kn?..ngah mnthly-vesary den ade bunga-api..hehe] den chilled at rooftop..and Baby Rash is soo jakun..tk pernah naik atas sey dier..haiz..so..i proceeded with my "romantic plans"..haha!![which cost no money at all!!wee..] i chose a place for us to sit..its the best place ever lar sey..got view,scenery,cn hear music,got wind and the atmosphere is very nice...wah!!wish cn go there again..haha!!den i asked him to drew something on the floor..[ok lar..acceptable..tk lawa jgk..hehe] den i drew an "i *heart* u" which is way much nicer than his..hahaha!![NO OFFENCE BABY!!HAHA!!] den as couple's pass by us they see our drawings and most of them make a look at us and i think they were thinking"romantic kapa ni couple.." or maybe "apa sia ni??..nk step romantic jek.." haha..but i dont mind..as long as i'm happy and he's happy with it i'm OK!

den we spend our time together..biase lar say i love u here and there..a bit of muahs..den went hm coz he cannot alek lbt nnt kene locked out..haha..den he sent me hm..and we otp..its like the whole day we r together sey..haha..COOLIO!!..

and that's all..bye2...

baby..thx for the day..i really enjoyed it..hehe..altough u spoiled the day..haha..
i juz wanna thank u for the 1 whole month of love we shared..and I REALLY LOVE YOU WAHAI ABDUL RASHID BIN RAHMAT!!

adios.amegos.peace

a week..

on monday...
went to sch..den went to p.ris..met baby..and he sent me hm..

on tues..
forgotten wat i did..haha!!

on wed...
went to jae's hse i guess..met baby..den i forgot..haha..

on thurs..
went to jae's hse again..forgot 4 wat purpose..haiz..

on fri..
went to huda's hse do project..den went hm 4 a while den went to jae's hse..met baby..and went hm..

on sat...
went to p.ris park to celebrate jamil's belated b'dae..played some games..had fun...den try to stay awake while brushing baby's hair..den head hm...

on sun..
went back to teban..do work..kemas here and there..den accompany dad to vivo to rendam kaki..haiz...den ate alot..had lotsa fun wif zaki..den went back..kemas sikit..den went to sleep..

[to my baby rash..i'm sorry if i had hurt u either intentionally or not..im really sorry baby..i promise i wont do it again..i oso promise to change for u... I LOVE U BABY...]

0ne Fine Thursday...

hmm..i'm missing those Cik Yah's Angels moments..hahaha!!!

Haiz..today i did ntg except sing like hell,eat,drink and lappy..haha..not to forget tv too!!wakaka!!

kk..i'll blog bout yesterday k?..hmm..yesterday did ntg in the morn till afternoon except tat i was cleaning and cooking last minute before meeting Rash baby..[wee..]den met Rash baby at p.ris..den we went to E!hub jap..walk2 here and dere..played arcade,[this is the fun part!!]i beat Rash baby in 2 games!!hahaha!!puas hati ar..[di Golden Chance..hehe]1st was some sort of hockey game..i tink the score is 2-1..hahaha!!den i beat him in a motor game[my fav]i gt second and he is thrid..well he said it was his first time..but i dont care!!haha..at least i gt beat him in something sua..hahaha*evil laugh* [Rash baby,too bad ar u lost..haha!!dont majok k..i'll let u win nxt time..hehe..]

den walk2 in p.ris park..sit2 and chat2..told him jokes and he laughed like hell!!wakaka!!he laugh smpi tkde suare sey..hahaha..[rabak tuh..fuyoo..haha]den ate at kfc..den he sent me to mrt..but b4 tat he gave me 10 bucks..and i was like paisey ar to take his money..rase mcm btol2 terhutang budi sey..at 1st dont want to accept..but di atas desakkan baby..amek jgk..hehe.

last words of the day..am i gullible??[pls anwer me if u r reading this..thx!]

[btw..thx baby..i love u soo much!!!muah]

adios.amegos.peace

haha..shopping wif Nina!!

missing these moments man!!haha..all the lil' missy's..hahaha

let me start off by telling u wat happened in the day..kk..i planned to wake up early to do my morning exercise..but as usual..sejak tngl teban ni asik2 bngn lmbt jek..dunno y..haha..den gt msg frm Nina and Rash baby..as usual..he will greet me "gd morning cyg.."hehe..[i like..haha] den Nina msged me if i wanted to go jln2..so i agreed as there was ntg else for me to do..haha..so..thr i was..rushing in the hse,hopping here and there like a squirrel,trying to keep the hse clean before going out..[its a routine..]den..again..i was late to meet Nina..haha..planned to meet at 1 but i came arnd 130 i guess..haha..
met at CityHall den went to Peninsular to accompany her buy a camera bag..and as usual lar..i'll be the one choosing for her..haha..and its a beautiful one 0k!!gt heart-shape lagi..haha..den walked down all the way to Bugis and went to Bugis Village..she wanted to buy shirts and cap for her new hubby..hmm..so again..i'm the one who chose for her...den,by tat time my kaki was blister-ing..haha..painful nk mampos!!den Nina bought for me sch shoes as my b'dae present and it cost $10..ok lar..alakadar jek..i dont mind..den she saw me limping..haha..dah sakit giler dah kaki tu..haha..went to Mphosis and both of us bought slippers..i gt the ribbon one!!haha!!den went to mcd and ate..Nina's nt eating cz she's dieting so,i ate her large fries and a mcChicken..haha..ngah lapar giler dok..the ting tat shocks me is i managed to finished it all up!! In my heart i was like"woah,gile pe aku?..bnyk siot aku mkn..tpi tkpe ar..mcm mane bnyk aku mkn pon aku tk gemok2..haha!!"

den Nina introduced me to her fwen name Cartini..i mean..seriously her name is spelled like dat..de..i was like"ok cn"..hehe..and we went again into the Bugis Village but tis time i wore my new slippers!!haha..[tk tahan sakit ar..hehe]den..they shopped for bags,shirts and jeans..and i was standing one side cz it was really tempting for me..so,its better not to look at it..haha!
den i received msg frm Rash baby..he said he's having a big headache..i'm worried for him at tat time being..i mean really sey..[rash baby..do take care of ur health aite..i'll try my best to take care of u..i love u baby]
den wen i gt hm,i tot Ayah dah alek,nasib blm..hehe..[lucky2 me!]den Zaki said Ayah alek lbt and no need to masak..so i jz went to sleep..hehe[sleepy head!haha!]den arnd 7++ Zaki woke me up cz Ayah ajak mkn luar..and i was like "wat??..im still full sey..but nvm ar..jz go n eat..for the sake of Ayah..haha!!"den we went to kedai mamak and i ordered nasi goreng..and i was jeles cz Zaki hav papadom..[wateva they spell it..haha]and biase jgk i asked him for 1 lar..tk kasi sey..den i asked him for half den he giv..i was like bdk kecik sey..i said"yeyey..dpt papadom"haha..den i finished the food faster den Zaki and i said to him"aku habes dulu..bluek..ko kalah..ahaha"really like small kid sey..den happy sey cz Ayah kasi kite minom slurpee..haha!!best woo..haha..den at hm..biase jgk..msn..tkde keje kacau org..haha..

and dats all i did today..haha..nites!

adios.amegos.peace

There She Goes..I'm Not Gonna Miss Her Soo...

this is the most sweetest moments that i had wif her[Fatin my sis]gd luck in Vietnam yaw!!do tc of urself down dere!!dun forget to eat!!!i noe u gt lotsa money dere..dun lie to me if u say u hve no money..haha...bye2 sis..cya in 2 mnths time!!

Hmm..hw shall i start..cz somebody gonna read this blog 4 sure..and i have to be formal tho..haha..
okok!!i got i dea!!lets start wif wat i did frm the sun starts to rise!!hehe(beware!gonna be a long one!!..haha)

ok..early in the morn arnd 7++i was awakened by Kecik boncet[my baby cat]haha..she meowed at my ears..Directly plk tu..irritating sey..den i grab her and hugged and make her into my pillow..[dah geram sgt..]haha..den she pleaded to let her go..haha..den i let her go lar..and continued sleeping..hehe..[sleepy head..haha!!]

Den!!again my sleep was interrupted..haiz..tis time by my Rash Baby..haiyo..he wished me gd morning..tats sweet bt..i was sleeping!!haha!!and Fatin asked to reply..[alamak..ni part yg malas sey..haha] so i replied to him telling him tat i cant contact wif him for the time being cz my sis wanna use the phone line for a moment before she going to Vietnam for 2 mnths..WTFISHES!!
ahaha..den i went to leep again..bt this time only afew minutes cz Nyai[nenek] dah bising suro bangun..and its like only 8 in the morn sey..haiz..bt i woke up at 9..haha..bluek!..

den after bathing..my habit in tamp jz wont go away..tat is reading newspaper before eating..i read the malay newspaper article abt husband's responsibilities during his wife giving birth..haha..its quite saddening tat some women are doing it alone..u noe y?..cz their husbands are bz sleeping while their wife fights for life and they have to suffer alone cz they dont want to wake their husbands up..and tats wat i call "jeritan sepi"...[screaming in silence]i read abt it and i was like "kiwak!!ade jgk org2 mcm ni dlm dunia ni ehk?..ish3..tk patut.."hehe..

bt b4 tat i heard ayah and nyai talking bout money issues..i was wondering..ayah kept on saying that he dont have enuf money for us..i wonder where his money go sey..kk..its true tat he have to gave it to Fatin bt tkkn smpi i dun hav money 4 sch purposes sey..rabak tu..den bile i want to search for jobs..nyai tk kasi plk..irritating sey..den..wat?..i hav to go for hunger strike is it?..klakar kapa!!!mcm mintak kene maki aje ar ni bapak..irritating nk mampui..[oops..nt suppose to say tat..hehe..terlepas dok..haha]kk.tis is jz a luahan hati ok..i dun really mean it..its jz tat i kept on thinking whr his money has gone...me n zaki dah stop mintak dier duit pe..we jz ask for sch allowance..AND my sch allowance is getting lesser day by day..and zaki is getting more!!WHAT A FAVOURISM!!not only that..i cant go to Thailand bcz of tis too..F*** lar..
Fuuuuh..lega hamba rasenye...haha...

kk..nxt..during sending my sis off..i actually wanted to hug her jz nw..bt i couldnt..cz im afraid tat i wld cry..and i noe her well..me and my sis is jz 2 yrs apart..but we have this "spiritual" connection..i cn feel wat she is feeling and she cn feel wat i am feeling..sometimes we even have the same tots..haha..coolio!..i dont want to hug her cz i noe i wld cry..and if i cry she wld cry too..soo..i jz step fierce ar..but in the end..she noes tat i wanted a hug frm her so,she hugged me..i was really close to tears man..haha..and she kissed me on the cheeks 4 the 1st time in our entire life sey!!bt too bad..its been in my habit since young tat if someone kisses me,i will surely wipe it off..haha..i dunno why..haha..so..den..after sending her off..back to tamp to take my things before alek jrg..haiyo..tiring u noe..otw to tamp..i cried in the bus..cz i noe she's crying too..i jz cn feel it..den i tried to imagine wats going to happen in the nxt 2 mnths..WAH!!!like hell..im gonna ulang alek tamp..simei and teban!!kiwak!!!Fuyoo..only god knows hw i feel...den abt kakak lagi tk balek2..i'm afraid she's running away again cz she gotta know that her bill is $200++..and the F*** thing is..its under Zaki's name..i cn bet tat she's nt gonna pay 4 it cz she dont have the money..and THIS is 1 of the major reason why i wanna work..cz i know i'm gonna need alot of money..definitely she will ask me to pay some..[sedangkn aku ngah ade difficulties in paying Fatin nye bills and oso my barang2 skola and aku rase aku tk mkn in sch 4 like three weeks to pay her bills..ni perangai dah mcm sial ehk..tpi sabar dok..COBAAN!!haha]den i have to cook meals for ayah and zaki before drg alek..wah..i'm back to my suri rumah days man!!it sucks!..to the max tau eh..tpi ape nk uat..dah nasib badan..hmm..

den bile smpi umah jrg..did some cleaning..den temankn ayah buka puase pat jrg point..den i didnt reply Rash baby's msgs cz i was engrossed in thinking wat will happen to me..too engrossed..haiyo!![sorry baby..i didnt mean to..if u marahkn me..i'm really sorry k..dun angry2 k?..I LOVE U..and i cant wait to see u..hehe..muah!!lovies!!]oh ya..Fatin was lucky cz she get to meet Rashid before going to Vietnam yesterday..she was the 1st to see..den followed by Shrek..[urghh..tat inspector nenek..haha]den no one else..huhu..[baby..im missing ur hugs..]

Den i became a match-maker in the night..haha..it was antara Sastra[my "scandal"]and Ris Nurul[my GF for life..haha]i let them talk to each other after knl2kn each other..den i went to talk to Rash baby..expressing all my love for him..haha..while waiting hw romantic cn he be..hahaha...a test tat i'll neva forget..i want to do tis since i started having guys..tpi tk dpt..haha..so..he is my victim!!1st victim!!haha..[no worries dear..no harm shall i do to u..hehe]*evil face*hehe..den talked to Fatin on Msn abt ther area there..the weather and wat time she will be waking up and start working 2mrw..[hmm..caring jgk aku ni ehk..haha!!bluek!]
and tats all i did in this one whole day dated 29th june 2009..
~the end~

P.s i love u Rashid..i really missed u nw..i was really hoping u r by my side jz nw when i cried..tats why i msged u...i miss u...

adios.amegos.peace

My Love..

The blue clouds they spell out your name,
The darkest night,you shine in them..
I LOVE YOU
and I cant imagine
If you're not here with me..

It's early days but I know for sure..
That what I feel is real sincere..
Let's make this the best time of our life,
To be my better half..

I'll give you my world,
and I'll treat you nice,
Coz for my love,
I'll sacrifice..
Anything I could..
Everything I would..

MY LOVE...
You're everything I could ask for..
Your smile makes me happy..
Your tears makes me sad..
And I know for sure,
This is the best feeling I ever had..
YOU LOVE..
Brightened my dimmest light,
Make my heart beat faster than before..
And as days pass I'm gonna love you more..
And I promise....

The blue clouds they spell out your name,
The darkest night,you shine in them..
I LOVE YOU..
And I cant imagine,
If you're not here with me..

It's early days but I know for sure..
That what I feel is real sincere..
Let's make this,the best time of our life,
To be my better half..

I'll give you my world,
And I'll treat you nice,
Coz for my love,
I'll sacrifice..
Anything I could..
Everything I would..

I wanna say something to you..
There's no one else that swept me off my feet like the way you do..
And all I want is you..
I promise that our love will shine may it be with you..

MY LOVE...
You're everything I could ask for..
Your smile makes me happy..
Your tears makes me sad..
And I know for sure,
This is the best feeling I ever had..
YOU LOVE..
Brightened my dimmest light,
Make my heart beat faster than before..
And as days pass I'm gonna love you more..
And I promise...

this song i dedicate it specially to my Rashid baby..cant wait to meet u again..=)

adios.amegos.peace

Happy+Sad=?????

my sis out in cooking..haha..haiz..2dae dere was ntg special tat i did..except tat i help my sis out in the kitchen..haha..lame!

den in the afternoon whr all the things start to happen..

i went on msn..and saw Shafeeq online..so..i tegur dier ar..den at the same time ask him if he's free in the night cz in my mind was if he's free i cld take my headband as well as meet Rashid skali..and possibly Jae..luckily he said he was free till 7 plus..so..i was excited ar..lagipn dah lame gile sey tk jumpe Shafeeq..i missed him loads man..but as a fren je ar..but things start to change wen he said tat the meeting will be our last..i was sooo damn super sad sey..tats wen my memories wif him starts to play in my mind..my eyes were welling up wen he apologised abt all his wrong doings and so..i was really close to tearing man!!

den..as i talked to him thru msn..i realised that im late to meet Rashid!!haha..i was super late man!..haha..i promised to meet him at 6 but in the end i met him close to 7..haha..i really missed him..i wanted to hug him at 1st but paisey cz his fren was dere..haha..den i hurried down to Shafeeq's hse to take my headband..i tot i was late..it was himwho was late!!as usual lar dier..hmm..sampaikan Rashid dah habis mandi pn dier lom turon2 lagi sey...but i waited for him no matter what..i really wanted to see him at tat point of time..and afew minutes after Rashid arrive,Shafeeq pn turon...bt he didnt realise me..so i tegur him 1st..i jz love to call out his name..i dunno y...but as he said..life has to move on..huhu..my eyes are tearing nw!!..dun ask y..i dunno..huhu...den i tot it'll be a short meeting..but i cn see frm Shafeeq's face tat he's having alot of prob already..so i stayed wif him and Shikin..[his X1 bike] den all of sudden Rashid,Jae and Din came frm the back..Rashid was polite tho..he introduced himself to Shafeeq..i like tat..hehe..=p

nw im feeling bad cz i was soo engrossed wif Shafeeq jz nw tat i forgotten abt Rashid..alar..its jz tat i missed him lar..and i pity him..kesian dier..hutang bnyk..i feel like helping him out but i have no money...i felt soo sorry for Shafeeq..and nw he wanted to change his bike cz he said terlalu bnyk kenangan dlm motor tu..and i totally agree wif him...i really missed Shikin..jz nw wen i saw her..huhu..mcm nk nangis jek..tpi tahan woo..

den i send Shafeeq to the mrt interchange..and said our last gdbye..while walking tu,deres lots of stories we share..cant tell u..sowie..personal..haha..den..i wanted to hug him for the last time tpi he said no..cz i belong to Rashid nw..WAH!!pecah hati dok..dah lar he dont want to be my member..fren2 pn tknk..last hug pn tknk..sedih woo..nk aje i cry pat interchange tu..but tahan sey..my eyes mcm tk tahan airmata den 2 drops came out..fuh..

den i ran to Jae's hse cz i do really need support frm Rashid at tat time..i noe he's searching for me..but i..i..i dunno..no words to describe my feeling...bile msk je pat umah Jae..i saw him..he was rather looking a bit furious..but he tried to hide it..i cn totally see it..at 1st i lied to him bout whr i send Shafeeq to..but i admit at last..i dont want to lose him plk..cz he's a nice guy and shld nt to be treated badly..den i hugged him..it really soothes the heart ache tat i was feeling..im glad tat he was there..

i love u Rashid..no matter wat it is..my life is now wif u..i hope u forgive me for lying jz nw...im soo sorry Rashid..i love u..and i will always miss u..muah!

den me and his members including Jae played in the playgrnd..hahaha..tat was enjoyable..dah lame sey tk main playgrnd..haha..bt i didnt play to the max tho..cz it's jz me forcing myself so tat his members wont feel janggal towards me and i dont wanna be like his ex..den at 10+..they sent me hm..in the train..i cried thinking bout wat shafeeq said..it really hurts me cz i cznt be his fren..he's such a nice man..and i dont think he deserves a bad girl..i hope he will have a happy life ahead and bertemu dengan jodoh nye secepat mungkin..and i reached at jrg east arnd 1130 sia!!luckily sempat naik last bus..fuh..and dats all..

adios.amegos.peace

Phew!!

anyone wanna blanja me go to this exhibition?..i want it badly..huhu..

me wif mr Trex..haha..

a pic of akak candid..haha!

what a day man!!hahaha.. 2day i woke up at 930.den proceed to my mission in finding a part time jobs..haha.. i went wif akak ar.. 1st was giant..den science centre..had lots of fun there..at the same time,i took a brochure on the da vinci code..haha..den went hunting jobs at GV at jrg pt..den alot more tat i cant remember..haha..
den i met a friend of akak as well as acang..his name i forgot ar..[STM!!]haha.. den went back hm..eat my sushi.. cant believe that i jz finish rounding jrg pt searching for jobs..it was tiring ok..haiz... now..for the 1st time in the entire mnth..this hse is mine!!im alone nw!!and im happy bout it!!haha.. so serene..soo peaceful..sooo lovely..haha..

btw..rashid..u are sweet too my dear..take care tau..i miss u..hehe..*blush2* haha..kk..bye!

adios.amegos.peace

Its All About Rashid..

our first ever picture together...

oweik!!haha

hey there people reading my blog..haha..

im extremely happy now cz Rashid is now minee!!hahaha...

bout Shafeeq??..well,i take his words..since he wanted to be a member only..so i let him be..and afew days later that is on the 18/06/09...i was Rashid's!!haha..everything happens super duper fast sey..it's like lightning gitu loh..haha...

kk intro bout him..

hw i get to noe him?:-thanks to Jae lar..bilang dier suro cari mataer den introduce me to him..haha..den exchange numbers..

why am i attracted to him?:-he is always dere wen i needed sumone..and he is faithful..[tats wat i noe frm Jae who's my classmate as well as his 1st ex...haha]

-he cn totally accept as who i am..i told him bout the incident bout me and shafeeq..he was shocked at first but then he counselled me in a very good way..tats gd though..

-he is a lil childish and totally into sports..tpi badan tk 'kong'..hahaha.

-lots more lar..too tired to type sey..haha..

wats his age?:-20 tis yr..

his birthday?:-21/06/1989

whr he stay?:-p.ris..forgot wat blk..haha..

his interest?:-games and soccer..[to the max punye...]

too bad bt thats all i noe ar..more info..still on going...hahaha...

btw..to my Dearie Rashid baby...

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY!!

haha..i noe u will be irritated by me cz i jz cant stop myself frm wishing u birthday wishes..haha

its jz becoz i cant find u any presents..so..a thousands wishes frm me is the best resolution...haha[tipu sey a thousand wishes tu..haha]

but luckily i cn spend the entire night wif u on your birthday..thx for ajak me to ur chalet wif syafinas,hadi,syahid and hakim..they are very nice companions..nw,i noe why u call them brudders..[although most of it is ur adik-beradik..haha..so lame of me..

hw i wish i cld jz spend the entire day wif u on ur special day...haiz..

to cut it short..its jz that im missing u nw and I LUP U..haha..

haiz..2day quite sian jgk ar..alek frm chalet den kene halau umah frm my nenek cz i tonn pat chalet..sedih woo kene halau...

only god noes hw heartbroken i am..huhuhu...

den nxt week aru dpt jumpe Rashid..only get to meet him once a week..soo sad.. :(

kk..tats all ok?..dah ngantok ar..wanna sleep..nites!..

adios.amegos.peace

haiz...

i really dunno wat to do nw.. something happened last thurs...and its a big one..it really had a big impact on me..i tink im really scared and paisey and im feeling really bad for shafeeq and rizal nw..i couldnt forgive myself till they really say that they forgive me straight in my face..i really dont wanna lose shafeeq nw..he has taught me alot of tings..gd ones..and i really treasure those..i really hope shafeeq would forgive me and we cld be like the times wen we first knew each other..haiz...

adios.amegos.peace

What A Day Today..

HAIYO...
i dunno wat else to say...tadi i went to meet Rizal and Shafeeq..at that time i was totally hoping it would be like the normal lpk2 kinda tingy cz while waiting 4 Shafeeq me n Rizal are playing cards..mcm biase je ar..den Shafeeq came with masam muke..den i ask him like a normal fwen would ask lar..i ask him wat happened?..he diam je..den after he sits down he started scolding me..he asked me wat was my purpose saying him kental..bt my intention was jz a joke sey..den he was getting serious..and i was getting mre pissed off with him bt i maintain cool..i tried to laugh in order to tahan marah..bt in end i merajok ar..i was about to leave the place wen sumting stopped me..he said all the things he scold me was jz a joke..and i was damn pissed off wen i heard tat cz its nt the 1st time he did tat to me..its like almost everytime wen we meet he would do that to me..and it's really annoying tau..so..ape lagi the anger was already outta my control and i threw my bag on the floor and started shouting at him..i scold him saying that i dont like him doing tat to me...and i said the word "fuck"to him for the first time..and tat was the first time he seeing me getting really angry and damn it was in the public..nt only his maruah jatuh..it was also mine and innocent Rizal's..i pity Rizal cz tk psl2 dier skali kene angkut malu..haiz..nw i dunno wat to do..i've already apologized to the both of them..i hope they will forgive me and forget about wat happened..haiz..why they test me until like this sey..tk baik sungguh..aku rase kalo gini lar carenye si Shafeeq nk test pompan..aku tk sanggup lagi..aku lebih rela jadi kwn dier nw..den aku menyesal ltr bab i noe he's a big ego..nt big..GIGANTIC one..aku menyesal..pasrah dan redha..aku dah tk sanggup lagi...i'm gonna leave him as it is..eventhough its gonna be hard..i still have to move on..Shafeeq,if u r reading this..i jz wanna say sori..and thx for everything..the only thing i want frm u nw is my headband back..tk sanggup aku nk kasi org barang aku pada org yg telah aku malukn depan masyarakat..bye Shafeeq..gonna miss u..

adios.amegos.peace

In Total Confusion!!

a make-up i do by myself..hehe..lawa kn aku??..haha

me n nina going to camwhore..hahaha

me in nina's room..feeling bored..

i no like tis pic cz tk lawa..hahaha..

ARGH!!!!!SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! i really dont know what to type nw cz many things are running thru my head.. 1)Shafeeq says he jz wanted to be my member..so with a sad heart i said ok.. 2)i gt to noe Shafeeq fwen named Rizal..at the same time Jae said her fwen want to knl2 with me and his name is Rashid.. 3)met Rashid jz nw..gt to know him mre..he's qiute cute bt he likes sporty gals..bt i'm nt..i like guys who play guitar..bt he doesnt..so,its like the total opposite lor..haiz..bt he's a very nice guy..i like.. 4)jz a few minutes ago..Shafeeq asked me whether i syg him or nt..so i jz say tis"i tot u said we are members?"...den he said something like"u'll neva noe wats up my sleeves..u'll neva noe till i tell u straight outta my mouth.." 5)WHAT SHLD I DO??.....STRESSED SEY...hmmm....

finally gd news..i've gt my period..hahaha..sooo..happy...weeeee.....

adios.amegos.peace